I’ve noted Helping: How to Offer, Give, and Receive Help(amazon.ca) , by Edgar H Schein as a must read a few times now. I’ve tried to summarize the key points in the picture below.
At a glance – You should take away the insight that this is why you feel so good when you are asked to help and why you don’t want to ask for help. There is an imbalance of status (or power) that happens when help is requested. You can’t take advantage of the “helper” role. It’s why you can’t just jump into the most powerful helper role of “Doctor” and expect that the “asker” will be happy with the result.
I really like the point that Communication is not a choice. You can choose to be silent or not, but each action is an act of communication. ( I took liberties with this principle )
There is so much more in this book. A “HowTo on Humble Inquiry”, A “HowTo on Teamwork”, and a “HowTo in Organizations”.
There is no question that this is a great book for your “home life”. But it is also a fantastic book for you at work. This is how you can really figure out what your customers problems are and what they want from you.
added Oct 21, 2013 HELPING: AN URGENT NEW ROLE FOR LEADERS « Ivey Biz School 2009